Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Talk about new

I haven't written anything in months. I don't know if anyone even reads this blog anymore. It doesn't matter, I guess. I just need to write. 
The last 9 months have been so crazy. I've been alongside Aaron this whole time devoting nearly every minute of my life to getting his kids back. I've got so much invested in him and his children that I wonder if I haven't let other aspects of my life slide. I don't have much of a sense of self anymore. I don't have a job. I'm not going to school. What do I do all day? Help Aaron with custody issues, help Aaron with various projects he's working on, help Aaron with his homework. I feel a little lost. 
I'm deeply in love with this man. I've never felt a love like this, not from or for anyone. He brings me to life. I am completely and totally devoted to him. I've said and I believe that if I can feel this wonderful with him now, amidst all this turmoil, then what joy will I know when the drama ends. And it will end. 
So I'm stressed. I'm tired. I'm worried. I'm overwhelmed. My heart has been racing more lately, I feel butterflies in my stomach often. But I wouldn't give it up. Not any of it. I would do it again and again and again - for Aaron. 

2 comments:

Wendy said...

I read it! I have you, and all my favorites, set up in Google Reader which notifies me when there is something new. It's about time you had something new for your fans to read!

Karri said...

Well, if people are still reading, then I hope I'm not too depressing!!